Think about it! How many situations could be resolved so much easier, so much quicker & (AND much less painful), if we skipped the drama..!?? For Real.
And now you might wanna go: ‘But…!!’ Think again.
Hear me out on this One. We are Hardcore-conditioned to take everything personal. And we do. But we don’t have to. We don’t even need to Re-Act.
Yeah, i know what you gonna say. It’s a loooong way to get there baby, but then again, it doesn’t have to be…and we can start today! It just needs practice.
Practice to take a Breath first. And then respond. If we need to. If we want to. If we have considered, that our response is really necessary, that it is kind. Because yes, Kindness is so much needed in our world.
Can’t remember where i read this, but somewhere someone said (and i thought this was brilliant!): ‘Imagine if every word we utter, would appear on our skin as a tattoo.’
Yuuiiii, that’s a BIG One, right!? Just imagine that for a moment…what would your skin look like? Would it say ‘Gratitude’, ‘Love’ & ‘Forgiveness” for example…or would it say words which start with ‘F***’, D*mn it!’ & ‘Sh*t!’? i would hope for the first option.
Anyways, back to practicing ‘skipping the Drama’. So…
What is Drama? Let’s look at it for a Moment. I guess i would define it as: ‘An emotional re-action, which stems from the ego, seeking to ‘blow up’ a situation, out of it’s proportion, and/or to receive a certain re-action/answer/feeling.’
Because…when ego doesn’t get what it wants, it needs to throw a Tantrum, right!? ‘BUT,BUT, BUT…I WANT THIS SOOOO BAD!!!! (This chocolate, that person, this raise).
Ok. That situation is there. Someone argues with you, and you reeaaallly want to prove your point. But, hold on a second! How much Energy is it going to take you, to keep pushing this argument?
How much Energy is it going to demand from you, to ‘restore’ yourself later? And how much Energy is it going to take, to ‘forgive’ this situation, the things said, the things which could have been avoided to be said?
Think about that beautiful Energy, which you can use to CREATE something instead! Something you really want! Think about the pain you can prevent, for you and the other. And you can ALWAYS, always, always…’agree to disagree’. That’s ok. You can do that.
It is ok not to find a common ground, fighting won’t help it. The opposite. It will steal space away from having a ground to communicate and ‘hear’ each other.
Of course, there are bigger situations and smaller ones. Crucial ones and more random ones. But the Essence of it is: FIND THAT MOMENT, where you take a Breath before you respond (not re-act!), and consider the options. Is it wiser to postpone, until emotions have cooled down? Is it more useful to excuse yourself for a moment, and take a glass of water, which creates a time-space..? Or you could just say all together: ‘My intention is not to fight with you, i would like to find an agreement. A common ground. Peacefully.’
At last, it is mostly those who are near and dear to us, or someone who might be important in work-life terms, whom we are going to have a situation with. And the more Energy-loaded then it will be. That Energy wants to go somewhere.
But it does not have to go into your husbands/wifes/ bosses/childs face, by screaming at them. That will leave scars. Ugly ones. Take that Energy, and go for a walk, a fast one! Breathe deeply & focus on releasing the stored-up Energy from your body swiftly, or walk up and down a stairs 20 times. Believe me, it will help.
And also, we need to learn to ‘ACCEPT’ things, as they are in that moment. ‘Because it already IS’, as Eckhardt Tolle would say. Doesn’t mean that we cannot aim for change, but in that moment, it already IS as it is. And by acknowledging that, we can RELEASE the resistance. And the urgency of needing a solution right this moment, or of ‘wanting to be right’ so badly, dissolves.
So let’s practice our ‘SKIP-THE-DRAMA’ muscle every time someone gives us the Opportunity to do so! And those will come, trust me. Maybe when you walk around the next corner on the street, after reading this, whilst heading to your every-day-to-go-to cafe, and they are sold out on your favourite coffee! Instead of growling at the waitress because you are tired from work and really want your coffee, JUST SMILE. 🙂
Smile and say: ‘Thank you for your effort, i will come back tomorrow!’ And wish them a nice day! Who knows, maybe you just made someone’s day then & even better…maybe the Universe RESPONDS to your friendliness & while you walk out of the cafe, your best friend calls & says: ‘Hey, where are you? Let’s meet, i just grabbed us a coffee!’
The Universe’s ways are always mysterious! 😉 Let’s do our Best while were here to spread the Joy!!